Right On Track

Just watched "Garden State" and really got the tears flowing. Ah man. What is a feminist to do who is a romantic at heart? So here is the contradiction: I believe women have a right to stand up for themselves and own their own power, but I also believe that what we call masculine and feminine traits are not gender specific. That strength in a man or a woman is strength - whether it is of spirit or physical - and that there is a balance to be sought here. By romantic, I mean I believe in the strangely beautiful, the sentimental, strong attachment between people, with a fascination and enthusiasm for the other person. However, this is also an ideal and fictitious state, as defined by dictionary.com : proof that love hurts. But, perhaps love is a process, and not at all the one phase that we all long for - of being valued supremely by another human being and feeling that connection with another person. Because that's the shit. That's when you are invinsible and alive. But, the other stuff isn't so bad, really. Hell, it beats the alternative.

But, I've got to say, I am glad spring has finally shifted into summer as the prowling has finally settled back into the balance again. All the shit blooming and the hormones raging and everything and all the couples looking so loverly is enough to make a person sick and happy all at the same time. But, I am in a state of mind, I think one I haven't yet been in, of patience. Almost this feeling of wisdom, that intimacy takes time and requires vulnerability and trust on each part.

The good news is that the career is finally becoming reality and coming into a real job possibility. Let it be known that THERE ARE CAREERS IN THE ARTS!!!! And the arts is what I loves so I will find some way to live doing what I need to do to keep me alive. So apparently the career realm and the relationship realm are the two big question every person faces, and I'm gaining on one of them and learning patience in the other one, so looks like I am atleast going in the right direction.