Beer, Pizza and Clock work

In honor of the Friday before finals, last night I walked down to Brickyard Pizza, ordered a beer and a slice of cheese pizza and hung out with Erica. I still don't like beer. But, the pizza was alright, nothing to really dwell on, but it was cheap and food, since that's all I was really looking for it worked out. Had a good time hanging out with Erica though. Then when we got back to the dorm we end up laying in the hall way analyzing the clock-work and micro mechanisms of ourselves and how we approach guys and how our past is influencing it and really introspective. A real chipper conversation - no, but it was honest and having that other person there to help you weed through your own overgrown analysis of yourself is definitely necessary. She was talking about how she uses humor to deflect real deep emotion, how her life experience has probably influenced that coping mechanism, and it was really interesting to see that as I think I tend to take things to heart and not really let them roll off. I always admired that about people who can manage to duck and run through life, while I always seemed to lift my head at just the right time to get hit head on with the situation and take it to the deepest level. But, thanks to waitressing and other situations I'm getting a pretty tough skin and starting to figure out when I can let the guard down and when to put it up. So, we're doing alright.

Talked to my mom this morning. "ya, and Emily came up on Tuesday and we went out for coffee, got my nose pierced..." Ya, way to go for subtle, right? Her exact words were "no comment." But, I've got to say, I really don't care if she's pissed. I didn't get it to piss her off or to get any reaction from her. It's something that I've been wanting to do for a long time and finally got the funds to get it done. And, I love it. I've definitely got a more edgey look now, but I think its more about an image I see as myself than as someone else's image of me. For once in my life I am not trying to impress anyone or prove anything to anyone but myself. And I really like this feeling. I still care about a lot of people and love being valued and connected in the many communities I've been absorbed into, but in my self I am validated because I love what I am doing in my life right now. And am open to what might come my way, knowing whatever it is I'll get through it and most likely have a damn good time while I'm at it.