It Hit Me Like A Brick

So, a lot has happened since I last wrote. Three days ago, Thursday, I woke up at six o'clock in the morning and it just hit me like a brick: I want to be an art teacher. I had been struggling in my chemistry and biology classes, just couldn't get into them and although I knew they were important I just didn't feel any passion or drive to learn the material. I have been doing art pretty much since I could hold a crayon and have been steering myself away from any sort of career even remotely associated with art since I got into college. I've gone from education major to english, to journalism, to environmental journalism, to environmental biologist, to art teacher. I love art. I really love kids, I want to contribute to the good of the world and genuinely care about people. I haven't felt this happy about something that has come from within myself for, well, I don't know if I ever have. Sources of my happiness have always seemed to come from external sources, like winning an award or contest or a relationship. But, never something that I had discovered in myself. I know this is the life I want to live. This feels so right, like it just fits. I just fit.

I am researching another university and planning to migrate, again, and really get on track and get my teaching certificate in art, with a specialization in English. Oh my god, I am actually going to do this.

So Friday I dropped my chemistry and biology courses and am now only taking photography and power yoga. I stopped by the local gallery, to talk to Natasha, a local big name artist who had seen a painting of mine at the county fair and had expressed an acute desire to buy the piece. She wasn't there but the other artist who was working there knew me by the description of "the cat painting" and called Natasha, who is going to commission me to do a painting for her. The other artist showed me around the gallery and totally spilled about her new found flow in pastels and man, she did some incredible landscapes and beautiful clouds. She said she had seen the painting and just looked at me, and said "It is just so happy. I just couldn't help smiling when I saw it." That is exactly what my housemate said, and my mom when they saw the painting. I think I might have something going here with this new found energy. Being able to share it with people is just amazing: they finally get it. The emotion through the medium to the observer.